


In The Water You Sink

by Englass



Series: In The Water... [1]
Category: Far Cry 5
Genre: Gen, God told him so ya know, Implied Kidnapping, Joseph is just a bit creepy, Possessive Behavior, THERE IS NO FUNNY BUSINESS IN THIS FIC, believes OC is now his kid, forced adoption i guess?, it is purely familial, potentially misinterpreting visions from God, religious zeolotry will do that to you apparently
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-17
Updated: 2019-11-17
Packaged: 2021-02-07 15:29:57
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,888
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21460315
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Englass/pseuds/Englass
Summary: Lily already has a dad, she doesn't want a new one. But, with the doubt and fear of abandonment starting to get to her, Joseph might be all she has...
Series: In The Water... [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1547005
Comments: 4
Kudos: 24





	In The Water You Sink

**Author's Note:**

> So, a long while ago, I said I was gonna add my Tumblr fics to here... and I didn't; so this is me attempting to rectify that ^^'
> 
> Happy reading!

Lily stands at the bank of the Silver Lake, eyes scouring over the many stones that have been washed ashore and now lay abandoned at her feet.

The wind brushes by her, a casual passing, as she kneels down to feel and collect as many smooth stones as she can find. A number of them find a haven in the central pocket of the large jumper she wears, an unexpected offering from one of the members from Eden’s Gate, while the others are gently tossed back to where she found them. Only one stone stays in her hand at a time.

The young girl looks out over the vast lake, watching as distant clouds bleed a perpetual grey across the land and water, dulling the vibrancy of the world she thought she knew. Her fingers brush back and forth over the stone in her hand, a repetitive motion that eases her as she focuses on the subtle groves in its otherwise clean surface.

Her feet shift with uncertainty, sliding into a sideways stance that feels slightly awkward, as she remembers all the times that her and her dad would skip stones together when he wasn’t swamped with work or overtime. It was a moment for just the two of them, a quiet pastime where they could talk and share in muted confidence. A moment for a lone father to escape the complexities of everyday life, and the battles that came with it, with his only child.

Often their time by the lake was filled with questions, curious and searching, as Lily looked for the answers to things that she either did not know nor understand; whether that be what a certain word meant or even how a particular system worked. She only ever trusted her dad, her one constant, to give them to her. And every time Adrian would answer her as best as he could, teaching and guiding, beaming proudly down at his inquisitive daughter.

It wasn’t always so picturesque though.

Sometimes they would simply stand in silence, lost in thoughts they weren’t quite willing to share, as time dragged on by around them. Other times tones shifted and voices raised. And then, on a few rare occasions, Adrian would hold his daughter close. Cradle her when thoughts or talk strayed too close to open nerves, when an old and still raw heartbreak was rubbed with salt, and the world got too unfair.

Lily never dared to question what made her dad cry.

It was so odd not to have him here beside her, watching over her like he always has and promised he always would. It didn’t feel right doing this without him. This was their activity, not hers alone. But, even so…

Looking down at the stone in her hand Lily chews on her lip, a wave of guilt making her hesitant, before she looks back up at the shaded stillness of the lake before her. With a deep breath she re-adjusts her hold over the stone, loosely rolling her wrist and drawing her arm back. On the exhale, she snaps them toward the lake.

The force she puts into the action makes her wobble just a tad, her footing unsteady on the soft ground as she watches the stone skip about four paces before it disappears below the waters murky surface. There’s a beat of silence. Her posture slumps with the weight of a disappointed sigh.

Lily pulls another stone from the small collection in her pocket, and with it she falls into a quiet routine. The water ripples at the disturbance, flinching at the rhythm that is soon set by the young girl as she continues pensively. Losing herself in the action as she settles into a revived pattern.

It is only as she gets down to her last several stones, after scavenging for a few more only seconds prior, that she is pulled from her mindless motions by the rhythmic crunch of fallen leaves. She turns with a blink, eyes wide as she watches with a nudging trepidation as Joseph walks towards her, his eyes kind and his smile gentle; paternal.

It doesn’t quite sit right with her.

Lily isn’t too sure what it is about the preacher, she can’t quite find the words for it, but there is something about him that puts her on edge; a feeling she can’t quite grasp. It has her shrinking in on herself, makes her feel so much smaller than she actually is, but she doesn’t understand why.

A part of her says that she is just being silly. That the feeling is only to do with the situation that she has been forced into with him and his family, and nothing more. But there is more to it. She knows there is. She just doesn’t know _what_, and that unsettles her. _He_ unsettles her.

She’s heard rumours about them, some from what her dad had heard from his new colleagues at the County Sheriff’s Department, but most from the local residents. None of them spoke well of Joseph Seed and his family, his ‘Project at Eden’s Gate’. Many called them a cult, accused them of kidnapping, forced possession, and so many other things that Lily’s dad had either told her to ignore or to never repeat again. It’s just small town gossip, he would argue.

And yet, every time she rode into town on her bike, she would hear the same things, the same stories from the same people that would tell her to stay as well and truly clear from the group as she and her dad possibly could. That they were trouble, scoundrels and con-artists; that they weren’t to be trusted or involved with.

She can kind of see why now with how things have turned out.

Joseph stops beside her, far enough that she won’t accidentally hit him, but still close enough to be able to reach out to her if he so wanted to.

Along with a few members of his family, his ‘flock’ included, Lily’s noticed that the preacher seems to have little to no regard for personal space. She isn’t sure if he does it as a way to assure others that he cares, or if he does it because he just likes being close to people, but whatever the reason is it’s something that Lily finds a tad strange and uncomfortable; if not excessive.

Thankfully both his brothers are nowhere near as bad. Although the way John looks at her, with a strange intensity that isn’t too dissimilar from Joseph’s own stare, does leave her feeling rather exposed. A couple of times she’s caught him hovering, looking like the kid that wants to pet the puppy, but doesn’t know if he is allowed to or not; and other times she’s caught him looking at her as if her mere existence was offending towards him. It’s unnerving, but, then again, what about this family wasn’t.

Jacob on the other hand, a mountain of a man that Lily still doesn’t really know what to make of, is the only one that seems to offer her even the smallest of space. Giving her at least a semblance of respect in the distance he keeps between them, both literally and verbally, but also in the lack of it (close enough to protect, but not close enough to care). Admittedly, Lily doesn’t really get it, but she does quietly appreciate the distance he offers her all the same. He isn’t there trying to coddle her or act like something he isn’t, after all.

Unlike his brother.

The young girl chews anxiously on the inside of her lip at the trained, but impossibly soft look that Joseph gives her. Gentle and reassuring in a way that a parent should be, but that he isn’t.

When she was first brought here the much older man had made a point of informing her of her parents abandonment. How they had failed in their God given duty to protect and care for her by leaving her all alone as they had. That she was nothing more than a poor little lamb that had been left to the mercy of opportunistic wolves.

(Lily wasn’t sure that it was the right word, but that had sounded pretty close to what her dad had once described to her as being called ‘irony’.)

But she didn’t need to be scared any more, Joseph had promised with a reassuring squeeze of her hand. He had saved her. He, along with the aid of his siblings, would fill the paternal role that had now been made vacant. They would help her young and still impressionable soul to see the truth that both they, and the people of Eden’s Gate, saw. It didn’t matter to them that she was certain – that she had _faith_ – that her dad was out there looking for her. That he would never abandon nor ever give up looking for her, that they were wrong about him.

But he wasn’t there then, just like he isn’t here now; and, particularly to Joseph, that spoke a thousand words.

The preacher tilts his head, expression fond and – if she truly trusted him – genuine as he regards her.

The look isn’t too dissimilar from how her own dad looks at her, and in a way it makes Lily worry over just how quickly, and almost eagerly, the older man was in taking over the role. It almost feels as if he’s actually adopted her, just without the paperwork or her even knowing about it. And if he and John didn’t preach so much about sin then she would say that he was actually proud of that.

“Are you alright, my child?” He asks, with the slightest edge of concern. “You’ve been out here for quite a while. You should come back inside.”

The young girl shrugs lamely, glancing out over the empty lake as she lightly shivers under the early touch of the coming autumn. The preacher’s prompt is certainly a tempting one, considering the changing weather, but with the unspoken order hanging heavily within his words Lily timidly decides to ignore it. Instead choosing to reply to his question with a lie-turned-omission from the tip of her tongue.

“I’m fine,” she says quietly. With a flick of her wrist another stone goes skipping across the water, the sound of its merrily quick travel echoing all around them.

It stretches far longer than it should.

“You know, there is no need to lie to me,” Joseph says steadily, reply dipped in a thinly layered disappointment, “I can tell something is bothering you. You needn’t suffer in silence. You can always talk to me. I would never turn you away.”

Being so openly called out has Lily fidgeting nervously, the earnestness of his tone catching her off guard. The remaining stones clacking together softly as she grips and rolls them within her pocket; a small comfort.

Looking down at the muddied ground Lily goes quiet, curling in on herself as the familiar tendrils of guilt start to take a hold of her. Her young and easily guilt-ridden soul making her feel bad for, what a part of her feels is, an unjustified silence; a petty rebellion. He is only trying to be nice to her after all, trying to offer her the familial comfort that she so sorely missed. She shouldn’t be so difficult. Yet, so much like her dad, she’s stubborn, quietly firm in what she believes and thinks is right.

So, despite how harshly her guilt gnaws at her, she continues to hold her silence, and within that silence, still and stark, Lily mourns for both her absent dad as well as her now lost moment of peace. Her one chance to get away from their oppressive watch and have a fleeting taste of what once was, of a normality now ripped away from her, now gone.

Even if she wasn’t completely free from them in the first place.

Joseph, unaware of the young girl’s inner distress, is undeterred, holding back a sigh at her sudden reclusiveness as he persists.

“I know this must be hard for you, that it’s all rather sudden and unexpected, but there is no need for you to hide from us. No need for you to hide from _me_. God has already decided your place amongst our family. I only wish you could see that as clearly as I do.”

Originally, Joseph had been filled with disbelief when he had first heard the Voice whisper about him having a daughter; the wounds still raw and tender after his last great act of faith. Surely the Voice had been mistaken in such a thing. He didn’t have a daughter. At least, at that point, not anymore.

He thought God to be playing a cruel joke on him, that maybe the Devil himself had played him like a cursed fiddle. The faith he had killed for wavered with the tides of doubt, harsh and crushing against the shores of his belief. Yet, by the grace and mercy of God himself, He had seen fit to show Joseph His plan. To educate and assure him that his sacrifices were not to be in vain, that he would be rewarded; and in fact, would be compensated.

_She_ was to be the divine water that tempered Hell’s fire. _She_ would be the rain that nourished the charred earth that Hell itself would walk upon. _She_ was to be his greatest test, his legacy, his most precious reward – a _daughter_, a _second chance_ – after all the sacrifices that he would have to make in the name of his Lord.

_She_ was to play a part in what Joseph always wanted, but never got to have.

Just as God had promised him.

And he would not let that go. He would not waste this second chance. Not when they were a gift from God himself.

“Please, child,” worry seeps into his tone, her continued rejection a wound he cannot ease, “I only want to help you, to be there for you as a father should. You don’t see it yet, I understand that, but that is why I am here. To lead you, to guide you down the path that God has intended for you. And as your father I-“

“You are not my dad.” Lily winces at her gritted snap, throat tight with emotion.

Out of the corner of her eye she sees Joseph shift, expression turning tight. Although it’s hard to say with what, considering how guarded he can be; how restrained.

He can be open, even raw at times from what she’s seen and heard, but for some reason Lily gets the impression that the preacher hides and knows a lot more than he ever lets on. About what she doesn’t know, and considering she has her own secret that she is trying to keep hidden she thinks it’s better if she just doesn’t pry.

As much as she loves her dad she’d rather not breathe a word about him to them. Especially if the rumours she’s overheard from the guards about a rogue deputy, tearing up the County and fighting back alongside a resistance group, are true.

She can never quite hide her grin, the torrential bloom of hope, when she hears those rumours.

Closing his eyes Joseph sighs heavily.

He knew this was likely a part of God’s plan, a test for him to overcome like so many before it, but that didn’t mean that the girl’s mention of her real father didn’t irk him so on occasion.

He isn’t as bothered as John, or even as unbothered as Jacob is, over the mystery man’s identity, but it did often feel like she was using them as an excuse, rebuffing Joseph’s attempts at building a relationship by reminding him that the title was already taken. That it didn’t, and would never, belong to him.

She would see though. God would make sure of that, His plan already in motion. The virtue of Joseph’s patience would, without a doubt, be rewarded. He was promised. He just has to have faith.

“I understand what you’re going through,” Joseph starts, schooling his expression into a sympathy that the young girl questions the sincerity of, “It is never easy to lose those closest to us, to let them go when they are no longer there, or when they no longer want us… but you have us now. You have _me_, and as your father I promise that I will provide all that I can for you. Just as God intends.”

Before she can even think to take a step away Joseph is already in front of her, blocking her view of the lake, and placing his hands firmly upon her shoulders, grounding her there. Lily’s breath catches, an icy fear prickling over her beating heart as she shrinks under his intense gaze, terrified.

Joseph does nothing to reprimand the young girl for her lack of reply, or the way she flinches under his touch, simply watching her and the tears that fill her eyes. Empathetically, he smiles at her. Drawing her in closer until she’s wrapped securely within his arms, held tight to his chest as he smooths her hair back with a gentle touch, a quiet coo.

He knows it’s wrong to hurt her like this, to push the truth of her parents abandonment onto her as insistently as he has been, but even 'The Father' isn’t immune to the sins of impatience.

She’s a stubborn child, a harbinger of a pride that’ll need to be tempered as she gets older no doubt, but the sure-fired belief she has in her real father is begrudgingly admirable all the same. It demonstrates the capacity of her faith, how fiercely she could defend it, and Joseph is certain that with enough time and the right encouragement she will walk the path that God has planned for her.

She could even take Faith’s place eventually.

Besides, her parents cannot be there for her like Joseph and his family can; cannot offer her the guidance that the Word and his flock can. Her father – whoever they were or may be – does not fit into God’s plan. And if they are, by some miracle, still alive and out there then Joseph would be most inclined to oversee their indoctrination personally.

And if they so happen to fail in reaching their atonement then… well, that would merely be God’s divine will at work.

Glancing up at the religious man, feeling the tightening tension in her jaw and the telltale sting of building tears, Lily can’t help but think over his words; the blatant confirmation that he was looking to take over her dad’s place leaving her feeling ill. She doesn’t understand why he’s so obsessed with this, so determined to occupy a space that will never belong to him. What he’s even aiming to gain out of such a thing is beyond her. He can’t just erase her dad from her life and memories, that’s her dad. _That’s_ _her_ _dad_.

Hopelessly, Lily tries to battle the scratching want she has for her dad, for the man who raised her, who taught her so much of what she knows. Who comforted her whenever she tripped or hurt herself, who celebrated with her whenever she did well in school or in general. Who respected her enough to be honest about the state of his and her mother’s relationship, to give her the choice to walk away from him no matter how much it would have hurt him so.

She just wanted her dad to hold her, to tell her that everything was going be okay, that she was safe and that he wasn’t going to let anything bad happen to her. That he was never going to leave and that he would always be there to shield and protect her, just like he always promised he would. Just like he always did when the nightmares came around.

_But he’s not_ _here_.

Instead she’s trapped in the arms of a man that she doesn’t know or trust. That wants to push her dad out so he can take his place within. And although he’ll never be her dad, nor even her father, Lily can’t find it in herself to turn down this small piece of comfort that he’s offering her; starving for the familial affection and love that a parental figure can give her. That her dad_ can’t_ give her.

Even if it is made out of lies and delusions.

With a stuttered sigh and poorly suppressed tears Lily buries her head into Joseph’s abdomen, her hands raising shakily to fist at the crisp white of his Sunday best. Joseph takes it all in stride, a light smile pulling at his lips as his hold tightens the slightest amount; a reassuring squeeze (_you’ve made the right choice_).

Nestled against him as she is the young girl lightly shakes her head and, in a muffled voice, as timid as a lonely dormouse and logged with water, can’t help the way her next words fall as a shaky plea; a begging reminder. To who even she does not know.

“You’re not my dad.”

Joseph doesn’t so much as bat an eye at her rebuttal, only ducking down to press a feather-light kiss to the top of her head before holding her closer, smoothing her hair back with a calm and measured motion.

“I will be,” Lily tenses at the certainty in his voice, the untold promise. “You may not see it, nor feel it yet, but we are bound to one another. I am your father, _Lilian_, and no matter the adversities that God may place before us I will love you as such. Just as you will come to love me as my daughter,” there’s the smallest breath, a sharp exhale, “Just as God had promised me.”

Pulling back Joseph’s hands come to rest on her shoulder and against her cheek. The former anchors her, a sure grip that keeps her close and centred in front of him. While the latter is a gentle hold, one he uses to swipe her fallen tears away, his thumb brushing over closed eyes in a move that is both comfortingly familiar and worryingly fear inducing.

“Now, let’s get you inside. You’re freezing, and I am sure my brothers would love to know what you have been up to, hm?”

His smile is sweet, his words innocuous, but even so she can still hear what sounds like an unspoken warning buried between the lines. A motion of silence or honesty, she isn’t sure.

And as his arm comes to wrap around her shoulders, pulling her into his side and smiling down at her in a way that reminds her too much her dad – so kind and proud and fair – Lily can’t help but take one fleeting glance back toward the lake that had stolen her away. That had reminded her of a time when things were normal and happier; when she wasn’t a prisoner and her dad wasn’t a wanted deputy.

Desperately, as she is lead back into a den of wolves, she prays that they are wrong.

Despairingly, with tears running miserably down her cheeks, Lily prays that her dad has not abandoned her.

**Author's Note:**

> Ngl I still really do kinda like how this turned out. I really wanted some parental Joseph at the time and was like 'hey!... I should write that,' so I eventually did! I mean, I doubt anyone else was going to anyway. Plus I just really liked the idea of Joe attempting to interact with a kid, like actually being a real and proper father figure to them, but... well, it seems I can't keep my toes out of the possessive pool. I just love that stuff too much. So, ultimately, something that was intended to be more of a sweet bonding experience kinda became more... not so sweet.
> 
> But hey! It's not over yet! After all, poor Lily does have two uncles now...


End file.
